So what really makes you realise you're a parent?

So I got to thinking, what really makes you realise you've become a parent? When do you really know that you've crossed over from being than fun easy going person to a tightly wound highly strung individual that can't even pee without being under surveillance? 

You know you're a parent when....

You realise You've worn the same pair of jeans all week and just made do with whatever t-shirt was at the top of the pile (Don't even begin to pretend you haven't been there!)

You find yourself walking down the street with a bag bigger than the average suitcase and the only items in there belonging to you are your phone, your rapidly emptying purse and if you've been lucky enough to remember them.....your keys! Not that you stand half a chance of finding these items before you've missed 4 calls 20 texts and been stood on your doorstep a good 20mins routing through the bag just so you can get back into your house!

When popping to the local shop becomes a mammoth task that you hope you never have to undertake. Your children take a good 15 minutes just to get their shoes on! Then follows the argument of which toys they may or may not take because they will surely get bored on the 5 second journey down the street.

The argument that they really don't need a coat at all no, nae, never!! Until 10 seconds after you have locked the door and they are 'freezing'. And if you're lucky enough to even make it to the shop before it closes you endure the 'mum, mum, mummy can we have, mummy we need......' over any number of items that they see before getting home £20 later without that carton of milk you actually set out to buy.

Babywipes are a staple cleaning product.

You don't ever leave the house without a spare change of clothes for the small people in your care.

You can't remember the last time you had a bath without someone standing over you stealing your bubbles or trying to get in with you.

Your bed becomes your sanctuary if you're lucky enough to escape small people joining you.

Naps become your favourite afternoon pastime.

7pm is your favourite time of the day.

You make yourself a cup of tea or coffee but don't get round to actually drinking it until its been in the microwave 3 or 4 times.

And finally a family dinner is a thing of myth and legend.

Just remember guys you are not alone in this! And I'm sure we'll all end up sat rocking in the corner eventually!

The School Run

The School Run

So it occurred to me today as I'm rushing my two small children out of the door, that really none of us have absolutely any idea what we are doing, just that we have a tight timescale in which to do it.

There I am, over loaded with backpacks, book bags and coats (that I may add my delightful children were refusing to wear even with the autumnal chill ever present in the morning air). My 5yr old is busy obsessing over whether her hair is done to the standard of her critical fasionista personality and moaning that school is too tiring. And my suspiciously quiet 2yr old is being seemingly very well behaved. I was thinking that this school run may be different from the rest, for a change we aren't last minute rushing, they both have their shoes on the correct feet for the first time all week, all books are present and reading diaries completed and no-one is throwing a tantrum......MIRACLE! 

YES! I think to myself as a grab my children's hands to cross the road......YUCK! What on earth was that?! Oh goodness that felt disgusting......it turns out that my 2yr old darling daughter had snuck the last of her breakfast toast out and had being holding it very tightly in her now incredibly cold, greasy, little hand. So now I have a situation inside my handbag is a small packet of 'emergency hand wipes' but to get to my handbag I have to put down all other bags and coats, whilst making sure neither child makes a mad dash off.

With a quick prayer to any God that may be willing to listen to me at that very moment and a deep breath I began putting everything down and routing through my handbag to find the wipes. I cleaned my hands and then bent down to clean my daughters hands also, when splodge.....she wiped her hands down my freshly laundered jeans......for goodness sake!!

I cleaned her hands anyway, picked up all the bags and coats trying to hide the lovely grease stain I was now sporting on my trousers and continued on the route to school. 

We got into the school and as part of the morning routine I drop my 2yr old off first. She took her bag from me and hung it on the coat hook along with her coat that we have carried all the way to school for no reason what so ever, she walks straight over to her teacher and says 'look mummy has dirty trowers' Brilliant, thank you darling that's just what I always wanted to have happen!

After exchanging a few sympathetic and rather embarrassed looks and morning greetings with her teacher I rushed off down the corridor to drop my oldest daughter in her classroom. By this point all I want to do is get out of there and get home to a coffee, some sanity and a clean pair of jeans, but NO, this was not what karma had planned for me today. My daughters teacher steps out of the classroom, takes me to one side and wants to talk to me about 'The monkey that went to school' project they will be starting! I nod like a crazy lady trying to end the conversation as soon as possible because now the grease stain is setting in and I really just want to go home and get changed.

After what seems like an eternity the conversation is over and I am heading back out of the school gates and I breathe a sigh of relief as I realise that the school run has been remotely successful and is finally complete.....until next time!!!!